I’m taking you inside the coaching room because while every coaching session has its own takeaway, some weeks are more impactful, and last week was one of those.
Five clients had five well-defined moments.
Each of them telling a similar story: Experienced professional women are taking on way more than they need to, and a few small shifts make a significant difference.
Here’s what came up.
S.M. said the wrong thing in a presentation.
Within 30 seconds, she’d decided she’d ruined everything.
Ignoring the work she’d been doing and the progress she’d made, because of one moment.
The reframe I offered her.
You misread a street sign. That’s it. You didn’t drive off a cliff. What if you said “Oops.”, turn around and keep driving.
The difference between women who stay stuck and those who keep moving is that one treats a mistake like data, and the other treats it like a verdict.
Your brain is going to offer you “I’ve ruined it.” Every time.
Until it doesn’t.
Your job is just not to agree with it.
“Oops. Moving on.”
T.U. started showing up differently at work.
Speaking up in meetings. Backing herself. Taking up space she was always entitled to.
And a colleague didn’t like it one bit.
That’s completely normal.
When you change, the people who were comfortable with the old version of you will push back.
All the time. My guidance was for her to:
Think of a team restructure that completely changes people’s responsibilities. Some resist it. Some resent it. But it happens anyway.
Her colleague was just used to the old you. The ones who stayed quiet didn’t push back and made it easy for them.
Take on their reaction as information.
What will she do differently next time? That was the question we sat with.
N.B.’s brain kept serving up thoughts she was done with.
An old worry before her performance review. A doubt because she hadn’t finished a project. Stress she thought she’d dealt with months ago.
A reframe was what helped.
Think of your brain like a garden. Weeds show up. That’s just what gardens do. The garden isn’t ruined. You haven’t done anything wrong.
There’s just a weed. And you pull it out.
“Oh, that old thought. There you are. Not today.” And move on.
The garden is still growing. You just did some maintenance.
R.K. left a leadership workshop furious.
She’d sat there the whole time, realising she already knew everything being taught.
What I saw was her awareness. Her growth.
I acknowledged her frustration and shared what else I saw.
You walked in thinking you were going to learn. Your knowledge and skill are already there. And you’ve outgrown that rung.
She’d been placing herself below people she’d already surpassed because her self-concept just hadn’t caught up yet.
Now, instead of being angry when placed in rooms she’s outgrown, she gets to acknowledge and celebrate her growth.
It’s what experienced professional women sometimes miss. The expertise is there. They just forget to give themselves credit for it.
Noticing how far you’ve come starts with you. [Or me as your coach, reminding you.]
P.J. was drowning in everyone else’s stress.
A colleague’s panic before a deadline. Another one’s frustration after tanking a meeting. Someone else’s anxiety about their performance review.
None of it was hers. And yet there she was, drained from all of it.
The image that helped her most.
Think of a waterfall. The water flows from the top. It fills every level beneath it naturally, easily, without effort or pushing.
When you are overflowing with your own energy and clarity, the people around you feel it. That’s your influence.
When you drown in everyone else’s stress, you block your flow.
Your job is to be the waterfall.
Because your coworkers benefit more from your overflow than they ever will from absorbing what’s theirs to deal with.
Any of these may sound familiar.
And if you’re wondering where to start, the Impact Audit is your first small step.
Cheers to creating change.
Lynne x
