Building Better Boundaries

by

Lynne Durham Life coach Melbourne boundaries

Discover what boundaries mean to you and you’ll soon be building better boundaries.

Better boundaries can include internal ones, boundaries with others and boundaries with work or life situations.

We almost always achieve healthier outcomes by using better boundaries.

The benefits of setting healthful boundaries include

  1. Reducing the fatigue of constantly repeating yourself, so that your family and friends know what you will and will not do
  2. Enjoying the freedom of the parameters you have set so you can truly enjoy the moment
  3. Experiencing choice within your schedule
  4. Feeling & knowing you are able to focus on your priorities
  5. Know how yourself means, leading by example, you can also help others do the same

WHEN YOU BEGIN BY SETTING HEALTHFUL BOUNDARIES, YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO LIVING A BALANCED LIFE

Boundaries are not borders.

  • They are not walls to block people out of our lives.
  • They help us be honest and authentic about where we truly want to place our time and focus.

The best boundaries are clear, peaceful and honouring to all people involved.

They create containers of positive, focused energy where we can naturally experience balance and offer the best of who we are.

When you create clear boundaries you can

  • Get started on your goals!
  • Create clarity around your limits
  • Identify ways to create and pursue your needs and wants
  • Space to take actionable steps towards achieving your desires

Begin your work/life balance by achieving better boundaries.

  • Identify the triggers when you react out of the ordinary.

    • Ask yourself—do I have patience for these specific situations, people, or energies?

    • If not, do what it takes to remove those triggers.

  • And, distance yourself from circumstances that trigger you.

  • Keep your life clean from toxic forces that make you react out of character.

 

Three steps to building better boundaries;

  1. Who do you most need to set boundaries with? (make a list if needed)
  2. Where, in what setting, do you need to set boundaries with yourself or others?
    • Try asking; “if I say yes to that, what will I be saying no to?” then, “if I say no, what will I be saying yes to?”
  3. What is the biggest thing that stops you from setting and maintaining your boundaries?
Choose you! What 3 boundaries could you set to ensure your needs are met?

Ponder these questions over the week ahead, then choose 1 boundary, to begin with.

Importantly, when building better boundaries, remember, you get to lead with love and…

  1. Be clear and specific
  2. Be firm and honest
  3. Focus on what’s best
  4. Be sure, not sorry

Create time in your life by respecting your desires!

Everyone can benefit from building better boundaries in a work or personal capacity!

So what would “better boundaries” look and feel like to you?

Perhaps it means…

  • Not taking clients or work home with you in your head (and energy), so you can lovingly let them go when you’re not with them.
  • Letting your friends know not to expect a reply during the week so you both know you care.
  • Agreeing on your work hours and letting everyone know so there are no surprises!

Get the worksheet here and let me know where you are building better boundaries.