14 ways to boost your self-esteem and why it’s important
Are you familiar with low self-esteem like I used to be?
It’s having pity parties; it’s feeling bad; a lot of the time, for no apparent reason!
It is not fun.
Low self-esteem can be generational; it might not have been anything to do with you or your life or your parents’ lives.
- If you’re feeling self-pity right now, you may be feeling the generational pool formed by years building up self-pity & melancholy.
It could come from within your lifetime or somewhere in the boondocks of history; it doesn’t matter where low self-esteem comes from.
What matters is:
- Identifying it
- Releasing it and then
- Building your self-esteem
Let’s shift an unknown not recognised and not acknowledged self-pity story into self joy; into self-esteem.
Happiness is an inside job. You may have heard that before, it is even the name of a book!
No external thing or person can MAKE us happy.
The self-pity & low self-esteem story was all-too-familiar for me.
I realised what it is to have a low-self-esteem story going on around and around in my head that was so familiar that I couldn’t tell it was there.
I can still remember the realisation about my self-pity thoughts that occurred during a session with my coach.
Having an unknown detrimental thought is kind of hard to explain.
Imagine, you’re going for a walk along a beautiful beach, you’re watching the waves, and the sand and the birds….
The whole time, your hand is attached to your body, but you aren’t paying attention to it, you aren’t aware of it until you know it is there – until you use it or bump it you aren’t aware of it, even though it definitely is there the whole time.
And once I identified my detrimental thought, I learned to recognise it. I could see every time it occurred, every time it affected my emotions. Every time it affected my life!
It was a belief, built on unknown years or generations of repeated thinking.
Once uncovered, I learnt to notice it, every time.
Then, I got to see the frequency!!
I got to see how often my mind had thoughts that I didn’t know were there, driving my self-pity feelings.
Then, I got to decide what I wanted to be feeling; what I wanted to be thinking!
I chose to notice, acknowledge, and decide; then,
I could see my alternatives; I could see a new way of thinking!
To clarify, the dictionary definitions are
- Self-belief – confidence in your own abilities or judgement
- Self-pity – self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles.
What I know to be true is what we focus on: increases!
Our brains are genius that way; they actively look for and find where ever we focus our thoughts.
Self-belief is the belief in self, belief in joy, belief in possibilities.
Self-pity is self-indulgent, excessive, dwelling on our sorrows or misfortunes
We get to choose which one we want to focus on. And when we have chosen, it will lead to increasing them; manifesting them; magnifying them!
I am sure you have experienced and will recognise someone who always has the same complaints; nothing works out; no-one chooses me, or I always choose the wrong guy;
Remember, what we focus on increases!
How much we appreciate our life affects our self-esteem, and heavily influences the decisions and choices we make.
Self-esteem can be:
- Motivational; it motivates us to take care of ourself.
- It can be high or low; there are a lot of different versions of self-esteem
- low self-esteem reduces the quality of life
- high self-esteem increases the quality of life
My suggestion is to do whatever you can to build your self-esteem.
Life is different on the other end my friend!
Let me know if this resonates with you and what your experience of self-pity is, and what you will do about it now.
And remember, when you are ready, you are always invited to schedule a free call with me, and get a feel for where you are right now, what you want life to look like, and how to create the self-esteem needed to get there.
If left unchecked, low self-esteem can lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Here are some DIY approaches to increasing self-esteem
- Check-in with your inner critic – did you know, you don’t need to listen to those words. You don’t need to have those words available to you every time you think of something
- Self-appreciation – focus on what is going well, what is great about being you.
- Healthy habits – establish critical practices that support a healthy lifestyle.
- Gratitude and appreciation journal your gratitude each day
- Doing what is right can help, get clear on what you know to be correct and let go of what you know to be wrong.
- Look past perfectionism look at what is right for right now with grace
- Evaluate Every time you question an action or decision you have taken; you can evaluate it; for learning or growing or both! Evaluating is especially useful any time the inner critic comes up
- Make it natural to show kindness, compassion & understanding to yourself and others
- Become your own best friend: Treat yourself like you would treat a best friend any time something comes become curious and ask some questions.
- Does your best friend deserves to have it
- Would do that to/for your best friend
- What would your best friend love as an outcome
- Surround yourself with your best friends with the right people with people who lift you up and who you love to lift up in as well
- Know your values identify what is meaningful to you, book a session to help clarify your values.
- Be clear on your goals: Identify your goals, your dreams, your desires, get clear on the direction you are going. Attend one of my regular workshops or book a session to clarify your goals.
- Live in alignment with your values, your goals and your desires.
- Has to be said; working with a coach.
Do you ever hear your inner voice of self-pity? Remember, you are always invited to schedule a free call with me, and get a feel for where you are right now, what you want life to look like, and how to create the self-esteem needed to get there.
You can figure this out on your own but working with me it will be much quicker than it will on your own. You don’t have to do this alone, Let’s set up a call.
I know the self-pity party and I can help you identify and release it.
Which approach do you want to start?